26 Feb Communicating in the Workplace
Managing conflict is an essential skill in personal and professional relationships. When conflict is handled well, it can strengthen relationships, even if the issue itself is difficult. The key is to approach conflict with openness, patience, and a shared commitment to finding a resolution. Here are several practical tips for managing conflict in a way that promotes understanding and cooperation.
Pause and breathe before reacting
When conflict arises, it’s easy to react impulsively—especially when emotions are heightened. However, taking a brief pause before responding can help you approach the situation more calmly and thoughtfully. This moment allows you to check in with your own feelings and decide how best to express yourself. Deep breathing or counting to ten can create space for a more measured response, preventing the conversation from spiralling into defensiveness or anger.
Focus on the issue, not the person: use “I” statements
During conflict, it’s important to address the specific issue at hand. You can do this by expressing your needs with “I” statements. For example, rather than saying “you always do this”, flip it around and say something like “I feel upset because of this situation.” This reduces the likelihood of the conversation turning into a personal attack. Phrasing your thoughts in terms of how the situation affects you (i.e. “I statements”), rather than blaming the other person, helps prevent defensiveness and fosters a more productive discussion.
Avoid the word “you” in your statements where possible because it often ends up feeling like the finger is pointed at the other person, and that they are to blame. The process of flipping a “you” statement empowers you to recognise and own your part in the conflict.
Be curious about the other person’s perspective
Don’t assume you know how the other person feels or what they’re thinking. Instead, be curious. For example: “Can you help me understand why this is important to you?” or “What would make you feel better about this situation?” You need to be genuinely interested in their feelings and perspective, not just defending your own position. Curiosity can shift the conversation from a potential standoff to a collaborative effort to understand one another.
Listen actively and reflect what you hear
This means genuinely tuning in to what your colleague is saying and reflecting back what you hear. Active listening helps the other person feel understood and shows that you are engaged in the conversation. For example: “It sounds like you’re feeling frustrated with our current plan, and you really don’t feel it’s working.” This can defuse tension and show your willingness to hear their side of the story.
Be honest about concerns, but stay professional
Sharing your concerns openly can help others understand why the issue matters to you. In workplace settings, this doesn’t mean being overly vulnerable, but rather focusing on how the situation impacts your work or the team. For example, instead of saying, “I feel hurt and ignored when my ideas aren’t considered,” you might say, “I feel discouraged when my contributions don’t seem to be acknowledged, as it affects my ability to perform at my best.”
Honesty fosters trust, but it’s important to remain professional and solution-focused. Frame your concerns in terms of specific issues and their impact on the workplace, rather than overly personal feelings. This balance helps your message be heard without overstepping boundaries, encouraging productive dialogue while maintaining respect.
Avoid stonewalling or withdrawing
During conflict, it’s important to stay engaged in the conversation. Stonewalling, or emotionally withdrawing from the situation, can make it feel like you’re shutting your coworker out. When this happens, the conversation becomes one-sided and can escalate the problem. If you need a break to cool down, communicate that calmly by saying, “I need a few minutes to collect my thoughts, but I really want to come back to this and find a solution.”
Taking a break is fine, as long as it’s framed as a pause for clarity, not avoidance. Let your colleague know you are committed to resolving the issue together.
Stay focused on the solution
The goal of any conflict should be resolution, not winning or proving who’s right. As you discuss the issue, try to keep the conversation focused on finding a solution. This means being open to compromise and being willing to brainstorm together. Instead of rehashing the problem or assigning blame, focus on what can be done differently moving forward.
For example, if you’re discussing a scheduling conflict, you might say, “Let’s figure out a way to balance our time so we both feel like we’re getting what we need.” This keeps the conversation forward-thinking and encourages both partners to work together toward a shared solution.
Practice patience and compassion
Conflict often brings up strong emotions, and it can take time to work through them. Patience is key to giving each other the time and space needed to process feelings. It’s important to approach your colleague with compassion, acknowledging that they, too, may be feeling hurt, frustrated, or vulnerable. Try to show kindness in your words and actions, even if the situation is tense. When you treat your colleagues with empathy and understanding, it can soften their response and pave the way for a more constructive conversation.
Acknowledge each other’s efforts
After a disagreement, make it a point to acknowledge the effort your colleague made in addressing the issue. Whether it’s thanking them for listening, for sharing their feelings, or for being open to finding a solution, appreciation helps foster goodwill and encourages positive behaviour in the future. Acknowledging each other’s efforts strengthens professional trust and helps you both feel valued.
By approaching conflict with openness, curiosity, and respect, workplace colleagues can navigate difficult situations in a way that strengthens their professional relationship rather than weakening it. Remember, conflict is not inherently negative; how you handle it can define the health and resilience of your professional connections..
If you would like to have a conversation further on how to navigate this, please contact us at Prosper Health Collective for further information on 6381 0071.
