How to support friends coming out
03/07/2025 | Jasmin Jasmin Dalziel White
Support and acceptance during the coming out process are crucial for mental health. Research consistently shows that LGBTQ+ individuals who feel affirmed by their social circle experience lower levels of anxiety, depression, and self-doubt. Conversely, rejection or discomfort from friends can intensify feelings of isolation and shame.
This blog shares some great tips to support friends during this process:
1. Listen First, speak later
Coming out often brings fear of rejection or judgment. The most important thing you can do is listen with openness and warmth. Let your friend speak without rushing to respond, solve, or question. Try: “Thanks for trusting me. I’m really glad you told me.” According to the American Psychological Association (APA), affirming support from friends can reduce anxiety, depression and even suicidal ideation in LGBTQ+ people (APA, 2021).
2. Respect their privacy
Don’t assume they’ve told others. Outing someone-intentionally or not-can be deeply distressing. Unless they give you permission, keep their disclosure confidential. Minus18 (Australia’s leading LGBTQ+ youth org) notes that outing someone without their consent can cause major harm, including family conflict, bullying, or loss of safety (Minus18, 2024).
3. Use the right name and pronouns
If your friend shares a new name or pronouns, use them. Mistakes can happen so correct yourself briefly and move on. Research shows that using a person’s chosen name and pronouns significantly lowers rates of depression and suicide attempts among trans youth (Russell et al., 2018, Journal of Adolescent Health).
4. Let them lead the conversation
Some people want to talk more about their identity; others don’t. Let your friend decide what they’re ready to share. Avoid invasive questions like “When did you know?” or “Are you sure?” Instead, check in gently saying something like “Is there anything you’d like me to know or ask about?”
5. Stand by them beyond pride month
Being a good friend isn’t just about the moment- they need you consistently. That might mean speaking up if someone makes a hurtful joke, supporting LGBTQ+ rights publicly, or simply being someone who sees them fully. The National LGBTI Health Alliance reminds us that ongoing support and inclusion dramatically improve health outcomes in LGBTQ+ communities (LGBTI Health Alliance, 2021).
Extra Support
You don’t have to be perfect—just open, kind and willing to learn. If you or your friend need further support, check out:
At Prosper Health Collective, we’re here to support you and the LGBTIQ+
in your life. Whether you’re seeking guidance, therapeutic support, or just a space to
ask questions—our team is ready to walk alongside you with compassion and evidence-
based care, contact us today.