As registered psychologists at Prosper Health Collective, we often hear from parents who want to support their children to understand and manage their emotions. Teaching children about emotions and feelings is one of the most powerful gifts you can give — it helps with mental health, social relationships, and long-term resilience. In this post, I’ll share evidence-based insights and practical strategies for parents based on psychological science, to help you feel confident in guiding your child.
Why Teaching Emotions Matters
Emotional competence — the ability to recognise, understand, express, and regulate emotions — is a foundational skill in childhood. Research shows that better emotion regulation in children is linked to more positive academic outcomes. For example, one study found that children with stronger emotional regulation skills in kindergarten and early school years performed better in literacy and mathematics.
Conversely, difficulties in emotion regulation can contribute to internalising symptoms (like anxiety and depression) later in life. A recent meta-analysis confirmed that various family factors influence children’s emotional regulation, which in turn mediates risk for internalising problems.
As parents, you are deeply influential in this process: your responses, interactions, and modelling help shape how your child learns to navigate emotions.
Common Myths About Children’s Emotions
Before getting practical, it’s worth addressing a few misconceptions.
Myth 1: “Children will naturally learn to manage their feelings on their own.”
In reality, children benefit greatly from direct guidance, especially early on. Psychological science distinguishes between effortful control (when children learn to deliberately manage emotions) and more automatic regulation.
Myth 2: “Talking about big feelings will overwhelm children or make things worse.”
The opposite is true: research shows that emotion-focused conversations (where parents ask about feelings and thoughts rather than just facts) actually support better physiological stress regulation.
Myth 3: “Avoiding screens or digital devices during upset moments doesn’t make a big difference.”
Emerging evidence suggests otherwise: relying on devices to calm children may hinder their development of self-regulation skills because they miss out on opportunities to process emotions.
Evidence-Based Strategies to Teach Emotions
Here are practical, scientifically grounded ways to help your child build emotional literacy and regulation.
1. Label and Name Emotions
Start by helping your child put words to what they’re feeling. Use simple language like “sad,” “scared,” “angry,” “frustrated,” or “happy.” You can model this by naming your own feelings out loud (“I feel frustrated right now because …”) — children learn by watching you.
This naming process aligns with established models of emotional competence (like those developed by psychologist Carolyn Saarni), which emphasise emotional awareness and vocabulary.
2. Coaching Through Emotion (Emotion Socialisation)
When your child experiences a big emotion, use emotion coaching. This means validating what they feel, helping them explore why they feel that way, and offering support for what comes next.
Recent research even shows that when parents “coach” both positive and negative emotions, children are more likely to engage (for positive emotions) and express frustration safely (for negative emotions). Emotion coaching helps children internalise regulation skills over time.
3. Teach Regulation Tools
Once children can label emotions, guide them toward regulation strategies. Depending on your child’s age and temperament, these might include:
- Breathing exercises (e.g., “belly breaths” or “smell the flowers, blow out the candle”)
- Physical grounding (like stomping their feet, using a weighted object, or gentle movement)
- Cognitive reframing (e.g., helping older children re-interpret a situation that caused distress)
Children as young as toddler age already show emerging emotion regulation strategies — a study of 24- to 30-month-olds found that even toddlers begin to use calming behaviours in response to fear or anger.
4. Use Play and Social Interaction
Play is a powerful context for emotional learning. Studies suggest that pretend play allows children to practise expressing and regulating emotions, negotiating with others, and working through conflicts.
Also, high-quality, emotionally supportive interactions (for instance, with teachers, caregivers or peers) support children’s development of self-regulation.
5. Have Emotion-Focused Conversations
Rather than only talking about facts (“What happened today?”), set aside time for emotion-focused conversations. Ask questions like:
- “How did that make you feel?”
- “What was going through your mind when that happened?”
- “What do you think you might do next time you feel this way?”
Research shows that when children are given this type of space, their bodies regulate more effectively (measured in physiological markers of stress), and they become better at describing their subjective experiences.
6. Model and Reflect
Children learn a lot through observing adult regulation. When you experience big emotions, gently narrate your own process: “I’m feeling disappointed, so I’m going to take three slow breaths.” By doing this, you show that it’s normal — and safe — to have feelings, and that adults too have regulation strategies.
7. Support Over Time
Emotion teaching is not a one-off event. It’s a process that evolves as children grow. Your child’s ability to manage feelings will mature, particularly as their cognitive and executive functioning develops.
Stay patient, consistent, and kind — small, repeated moments of coaching tend to build strong emotional foundations.
How Prosper Health Collective Can Help
At Prosper Health Collective, our psychologists are experienced in working with children and families around emotional development. If you’re in Booragoon, Canning Vale or Stirling, our clinic provides supportive, evidence-based care when you want help teaching your child about their feelings or building emotional regulation skills.
We offer parent consultation, child therapy, and guided emotion-coaching sessions — designed to meet you where you are, without judgment, and to help you feel empowered in your role as your child’s emotional coach.
Takeaway
Teaching children about their emotions and feelings is both a science and an art. With warm, consistent guidance and evidence-informed strategies, you can help your child build emotional literacy and regulation that supports mental wellbeing across their lifetime.
If you’re ready to explore how to support your child’s emotional world in partnership with a psychologist, you’re welcome to book a consultation with us now.