Perfectionism: When ‘just right’ becomes too much

01 May Perfectionism: When ‘just right’ becomes too much

At Prosper Health Collective, we often work with individuals who feel like they’re always  striving but never arriving. They describe a relentless pursuit of high standards, yet  often feel “not good enough,” no matter how much they achieve.

This experience is  frequently rooted in a trait called perfectionism. While striving for excellence can be healthy, perfectionism is something different  altogether. It’s not about doing your best—it’s about a rigid, internal demand to be  flawless. And over time, it can become emotionally and physically exhausting. 

In this blog, we’ll unpack what perfectionism really is, explore how it shows up in daily  life, Prosper Health’s psychology team will share practical strategies to manage it more effectively. 

What is perfectionism? 

Perfectionism is more than just being detail-oriented or hardworking. It’s a pattern of  self-critical thinking combined with an intense fear of failure or making mistakes.  Psychologists often define perfectionism as the setting of unrealistically high standards  for oneself, coupled with overly harsh self-evaluation. 

There are typically two main types: 

Self-oriented perfectionism: Demanding perfection from yourself. 

Socially prescribed perfectionism: The belief that others expect you to be  perfect. 

Both types can feed into a constant cycle of anxiety, procrastination, and dissatisfaction —especially in men, who may feel pressure to succeed professionally, be emotionally  stoic, and meet high family expectations.

The cost of “just right” 

For many clients we see at Prosper Health Collective, perfectionism is a double-edged  sword. On the surface, it may look like ambition or dedication. But under the surface, it  often creates anxiety, burnout, and a nagging sense of never being “good enough.” 

Research has linked perfectionism with: 

Chronic stress and burnout

Depression and anxiety

Low self-esteem

Relationship strain

Procrastination and avoidance 

In fact, studies suggest that high levels of perfectionism are strongly associated with  mental health concerns, especially when left unaddressed. The need for things to feel  “just right” can prevent people from starting tasks, completing projects, or even  enjoying meaningful life moments. 

Common myths about perfectionism 

Myth 1: Perfectionism helps you succeed. 

While it may drive short-term performance, over time it actually decreases productivity  due to fear of failure and procrastination. 

Myth 2: It’s just being detail-oriented. 

Detail-oriented people take pride in their work, but they don’t feel crushed by small  mistakes. Perfectionists often ruminate over minor flaws and feel defined by them. 

Myth 3: It’s a personality trait you can’t change. 

Perfectionism is a learned behavior—and like any habit, it can be unlearned with the  right support and strategies. 

Practical strategies to overcome perfectionism 

Our psychology team at Prosper health have assisted clients  with perfectionism problems over the years, here are our top strategies to help when you find yourself caught in the cycle of “not good enough:

1. Challenge perfectionist thoughts 

Perfectionism is often fueled by distorted thinking: “If it’s not perfect, it’s a failure.”  Try reframing these thoughts: 

From: “I must never make mistakes.” 

To: “Everyone makes mistakes. They’re how we grow.” 

A psychologist can help you identify and challenge these unhelpful beliefs using  techniques from Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT). 

2. Set Realistic Goals

    

Perfectionism thrives on unrealistic expectations. Instead, set SMART goals—Specific,  Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, and Time-bound. Focus on progress, not perfection. 

3. Practice Self-Compassion 

Speak to yourself as you would to a mate going through a rough patch. Acknowledge your  efforts, accept imperfections, and remind yourself that being human means being  flawed. 

4. Try Exposure to “Good Enough” 

Deliberately let some tasks be “good enough” rather than perfect. This might feel  uncomfortable at first, but it’s a powerful way to break the perfectionism cycle. You  may be surprised at how little others notice—and how much time and energy you save. 

5. Seek Professional Support 

Working with a psychologist can help you understand the roots of your perfectionism,  manage its impacts, and develop healthier patterns. At Prosper Health Collective, we  provide evidence-based support tailored to men navigating these challenges—whether in  work, relationships, or personal wellbeing. 

Moving forward: When “not good enough” isn’t the truth 

Perfectionism might masquerade as a strength, but it often hides deep doubts about  being “not good enough.” At Prosper Health Collective, we believe it’s possible to aim high without driving yourself into the ground. If perfectionism is interfering with your performance, relationships, or peace of mind,  you don’t have to tackle it alone. Reaching out for support isn’t a weakness—it’s a  powerful first step toward living with more clarity, confidence, and self-acceptance. 

Want to learn more or book a session with one of our experienced psychologists?  Contact us today Let’s work together toward a life that’s not perfect—but  meaningful, grounded, and fulfilling.