Tips to build the healthy adult within us

At the age of 18, we receive the legal right to make life-changing decisions. Government systems recognise this age as the point where most individuals reach enough of a level of physical and mental maturity to be responsible for the path they decide to take in all areas of life.

The thing is, when do you really feel like an adult? Many people never quite feel they reach that point, others say that the first paycheque, bill or mortgage payment finally drives the point home. Whatever that looks like to you, adulthood should be seen as a process rather than a fixed point. It is a transition, a journey of adapting to the changes both inside and out – and it never really stops no matter how old you get.

We all have the potential of a healthy adult inside us and it is important to consider that person your advocate, one that nurtures and guides you with compassion. This guidance also includes being able to set healthy boundaries and limits. For some, accepting this healthy adult voice is natural, however many people find that some work helps them become more aware of and develop this part of themselves.

Here are some tips to build that Healthy Adult within:

Emotional mindfulness.

Emotions are neither good nor bad. They are great messengers that give you an understanding on what you may like, dislike, or need at that moment. Acknowledging them helps with the building of self-awareness, and places us in a more likely position to choose our response instead of reacting to the emotions that come up.

Transitions can be stressful, and may require additional resources from you as you learn new ways of doing things. Be kind and compassionate as you go through transitions, and make room for yourself to make mistakes. Remember that mistakes are not failures. If you struggle with your inner critic, consider imagining someone in your life who has been compassionate and kind towards you. What would this person say to you in this situation? Alternatively, what would you say to a close friend in a similar position?

Know what matters to you.

As you transition into adulthood, take some time to consider what is truly important to you. There is always the option to go with the flow with whatever society or people around us demand of us. However, is that what you value and gives you satisfaction in how you live out your life? Some examples of values might be adventure, kindness, connection, self-care, power, trust.

Knowing what matters in your life helps you navigate and guide decisions and choices you can make despite challenging thoughts, feelings, or circumstances.

Draw boundaries and limits.

When you know what matters, you may at times need to make difficult decisions – like drawing boundaries with people who are not good for you (e.g. toxic relationships), or looking after your own needs. Sometimes, people around you may not like the decision you’ve made. While that may feel uncomfortable, it may sometimes be necessary (and important) to sit with.

Growing our healthy adult within also requires appropriate boundaries within yourself, and in consideration of what is the best for your growth in the long term. That which would be helpful in getting you towards what you value, even if it brings some discomfort at present.

For example, if you are saving for your home deposit, you may want to set limits on your shopping or other unnecessary expenses. If you are struggling with self-care and tend to overwork, you may need to set boundaries on the extent of work you engage with in the day.

Remember, the healthy adult within is compassionate and nurturing. Changes do not happen overnight. If you are interested in improving your mental health and would like to engage with one of our clinicians to support your journey in flourishing, please contact us at Prosper Health Collective for further information on 6381 0071.