Sometimes our inner critic bubbles away in the background, largely unnoticed. Sometimes it is very loud and clear, like a referee on a football field. It may sound something like:
- You’re not good enough
- I’m a horrible parent
- You can’t do this
- I’m such a failure
- I’m too lazy
Some of these thoughts may sound familiar to you. Of course, this radio may not play in our minds all the time; sometimes it’s like a tiny whisper, sometimes it’s loud. We might have tried to fight this ‘I’m not enough’ belief in many different ways; be it pushing it away, arguing with it, or keeping ourselves busy just so we don’t have to think about them. However, the harder we fight against this radio in ours minds, the louder it gets!
NOTICE THE STORY
We first have to notice our inner critic popping up. Try paying attention to what is unfolding within you – your thoughts, feelings, sensations in your body, urges) – without buying into it. Notice what your mind is telling you and what your body is trying to convey to you. Name and notice your thoughts, feelings, body sensations, and urges.
GIVE YOUR STORY A NAME
Naming your story allows you to see it for what it is. It separates you from the story that your mind is telling you.
Find a title that sums up the whole story. If these thoughts, images, or feelings were to be made into a book or a movie, titled ‘The ________ story’, what would you call it? Sometimes it may be a broad ‘I’m not good enough’ story. Sometimes you may have a more specific story, such as ‘I’m a bad coach’ or ‘I’m a bad mum’.
You may also choose to give it a character or a name. You may call it ‘The Big Bad Wolf’ or ‘The Inner Critter’.
Each time the story or your critical character shows up, notice and name it:
A ha! There’s the XYZ story again!. Or, “there you are! The Big Bad Wolf”.
I hope you have a go at this! Remember that this story is not the whole you!
If you get stuck with your story, reach out and let us know. There are many things that can be tried to tame the story.
- How to manage self critical thoughts with compassion - July 24, 2020
- What does you inner critic say about you? - July 6, 2020
- Simple Tips on Building Emotional Intimacy in Relationships - March 2, 2020