What is your inner critic?

01 May What is your inner critic?

Let’s talk about that nagging voice in your head—the one that says, “You’re not good enough” or “You’ll mess this up.” That’s your inner critic, and today we’re breaking down how to spot it, why it exists, and how to respond with self-compassion and kindness. 

The inner critic is the internal voice that critiques your thoughts, actions, and worth. It often develops quite early in life in response to harsh criticism or rejection, or due to the misplaced guilt and shame often reported by trauma survivors. 

Why does it exist? 

It may sound strange but, at its core, the inner critic is actually trying to protect you. It tries to shield you from failure or rejection by pushing you to “be better” or “stay small and unnoticed.” Think of it as an overprotective part of you that is afraid and seeking to help but taking it too far. You can often spot your inner critic by the type of language it uses. It thrives on absolute language (always, never) and catastrophizing (“everything is ruined”, “I’ll always be alone”). 

The toll on mental health 

A loud inner critic erodes self-esteem, and can lead to all sorts of mental health issues. It keeps you stuck in cycles of self-sabotage, where risks are avoided to keep you very safe, but by doing so you shrink your world and deprive yourself of opportunities for growth, happiness, or testing out some of the anxious predictions that your inner critic is throwing at you. 

So how might we respond? 

Here are some of our top tips for managing your inner critic from the team at Prosper Health: 

Thank your inner critic – It might sound counterproductive but thanking your inner critic can acknowledge its intended protective function, but help put boundaries in place. For example, In response to a thought like “everyone will laugh at you”, say something like “thanks for looking out for me, but I’ve got this”. 

Naming the story – Practice noticing the themes within these thoughts, and actually categorising or naming them when they show up. “Ah, there’s the I’m not good enough story again”. This helps put some distance between you and these thoughts, and provides some perspective rather than letting you get all tangled up in what your inner critic is saying. 

Pause & reflect – Ask: “Is this thought helpful or true?” What other perspectives might exist? 

Foster self-compassion –  Replace “I’m a failure” with “I’m learning, and that’s okay.” Speak to yourself with the same kindness you would show others, as I highly doubt most of us would ever speak to a loved one in the harsh or critical ways we speak to ourselves 

Why this works 

Self-compassion isn’t self-indulgence—it’s resilience. It also adds balance to our thinking, so we can think more flexibly and not just jump to worst case scenarios or hold ourselves to unrelenting and unreasonable standards. So please remember that your inner critic doesn’t have to run the show or dominate you. With consistent practice, anyone can learn these techniques and adopt them into their day to day life. 

Prosper Health Collective are here anytime you’d like some support with managing your inner critic, or would like assistance with any other wellbeing goals you might have. Contact us to make a booking today.